A Very Merry Snixxxmas
by your-street-serenade
Summary: The aftermath of Previously Unaired Christmas finds Kurt and Rachel 'cancelling' Christmas in the loft. Refusing to let them sulk Santana declares the 25th of December their first official Snixxxmas in New York.
1. Chapter 1

So I know the whole timeline thing is wonky but just work with me here. Let's pretend that Brittany was at MIT during Previously Unaired Christmas. Cool? Cool.

X

_B: I'm going to miss kissing you under the mistletoe this year_

_S: me too_

_B: ugh are you sure you don't want to come up and visit me? I don't care how expensive a last minute ticket is. I'll pay for it. I wanna see you_

_S: I want to see you too but I've already told Kurt and Rachel I was staying. Besides grand larceny aside, crashing with Hummelberry isn't so bad. They're actually kinda fun with a little nog in them._

_B: ooooookay :( _

_S: don't pout. In the spirit of the season I just might send you more pics of me in my sexy Mrs. Claus outfit_

_B: omg yes please. Also if you have any more of you in that sexy elf costume I want those too. Remember all I want for Christmas is nuuuudes._

_S: you're ridiculous_

_B: only when it comes to you. Text me before bed?_

_S: of course. I gotta go rn tho Laverne and Shirley are coming back any minute. I'll send you a little something special to hold you over_

_B: love you_

_S: love you too_

Santana smiled down at her phone as she flicked through her photo album.

Her, Kurt and Rachel's temporary gig at the mall had been a total disaster but both of the costumes she had been required to wear were ten kinds of sexy. For all of their trouble she thought she was totally within her rights to swipe them. You just never knew when they would come in handy for some kind of triple x roleplay. Anyway Brittany seemed very appreciative of the impromptu photoshoots Santana had taken while posing in them.

She selected one of her favorites in which she had hooked a single candy cane on the front of her elf costume, the piece of candy was tantalizingly close to her bust. With a couple of silly flirty hearts she sent the pic off in a text to Brittany who immediately replied with a cute drooly emoji.

Pleased with Brittany's response Santana exited out of her messages and just barely managed to mask her grin as Kurt and Rachel walked into the loft. They were both juggling grocery bags.

''Did you guys get the stuff I told you to?'' Santana asked as she approached the dining table and watched them begin to unload their recent purchases.

Kurt winced. ''Sort of.''

''What does sort of mean?'' Santana looked between her two friends.

''Welllll,'' Rachel chirped, almost singing. ''Instead of getting Smirnoff like you told me to get I got us something called vegan lager-''

Santana pulled a face in disgust. ''Gross.''

''It's supposed to have a woodsy bamboo after taste,'' Rachel offered, as if that made any of it sound more appealing.

''Berry, please stop talking before I vomit all over myself.'' Santana held up a hand, silencing Rachel. ''Well as per usual it looks like if I want something done right I have to do it myself. Luckily I was expecting your total ineptitude and went ahead and picked up a few bottles on my way home.''

Santana glided over to the fridge and opened the door, revealing it to be fully stocked with alcoholic beverages.

''Let the first official Snixxxmas begin!'' Santana announced and lifted a hand into the air in a display of triumph.

X

Inventing her very own holiday hadn't been what Santana had in mind when she decided to pack a bag and haul herself to New York on her winter break, but it just sorta happened.

It really all started off when Rachel had talked her and Kurt into taking jobs at the mall. Sexy elf and sexy Mrs. Claus costumes aside, getting their asses robbed by some bisexual Santa kind of put a damper on all Christmas related festivities. Kurt was embarrassed more than anything (who wouldn't be after they were found gagged and hogtied) and Rachel felt more than a little sheepish and guilty about getting them all into the mess to begin with. The whole ordeal soured them on what should have been the most wondrous, magical holiday of the year.

The facts were they were all single, they were all in one way or another drifting through life and they were all just robbed blind by a scamming ass Santa. In truth it was hard to be merry and bright after the fact. It bitchslapped the holiday spirit right out of them.

Kurt had jadedly suggested they simply neglect the holiday all together and 'cancel' Christmas in the loft. While Rachel did enjoy the grandness and majesty of the holiday she had never been passionate about this time of year to begin with and made no real objection to nixing Christmas. Santana on the other hand…well...

It had always been Brittany's favorite holiday and that in turn made it Santana's favorite one too. Brittany was of the belief that there was something truly fantastical about the season with all of the mistletoe and twinkling lights. She had turned Santana into a believer, because maybe Santana didn't buy into 'peace on earth and goodwill towards man' stuff but when she looked into Brittany's clear blue eyes even she couldn't deny there was something about this time of year that felt magical.

They weren't exactly together anymore but Santana still believed in that magic.

Brittany had went off to MIT and there was still a lot of distance between them but their future seemed a lot less bleak now that they were both out in the real world. Brittany was doing what she needed to do for herself and Santana was, well she had no clue what the hell she was doing in Kentucky but the important thing was they had both gotten themselves out of Lima. And now that they were out it was as if something heavy and dark had been lifted.

It was no longer a question of if they would get back together, it was more a question of when.

They texted every day and spoke over the phone often and some nights when both of them were feeling a little riled up there were even sexy Skyping sessions. They weren't putting a label on what they were or what they were doing, they were just giving each other space as they figured themselves out but there was something clear and unspoken between them: they were going to be together again one day. They just had to wait for life and school and work and goals to sort themselves out.

Until then late night long phone calls and sexy texting would have to be enough. It was frustrating which was why she had been hoping to distract herself with Rachel and Kurt in the city but then that thieving Santa had to ruin it all. Kurt and Rachel were her hosts and it was their loft so she didn't make a stink when they declared that their place would be a Christmas free zone. No twinkling lights, no tinsel, no ornaments, no presents under the tree they had said. They were going to skip the holiday this year.

Santana was fine with that if that's what they wanted to do she told them, but over her gorgeous dead body was she going to let them just sit and wallow in self pity.

They didn't have to celebrate Christmas but Santana reasoned they had to have some sort of reason to get their drink on while she was there.

And that's when she came up with Snixxxmas.

Triple X of course.

If Christmas was all about peace and goodwill then Santana figured that Snixxxmas was going to about debachery and excess in order to be the true anti-Christmas celebration. They still had several days until the 25th which Santana had declared to be the first official Snixxxmas. In order to prepare for her holiday she wrangled Kurt and Rachel in to do some preparations.

Santana herself went on a food run while she sent Kurt and Rachel to make a pit stop at a liquor store. Celebratating Snixxxmas was going to require a lot of booze of course. Using a bit of her very own Snixxx sense however Santana had also popped into a liquor store on the way back as well. She had a gut feeling Kurt and Rachel would somehow screw up their one task which of course they did. Luckily Santana had went ahead and procured enough to fill the fridge and then some.

Rachel and Kurt stared in shock and awe at the selection of beverages before them.

''How did you carry all of this here?'' asked Rachel.

''I didn't,'' Santana admitted. ''The homeless guy at the end of your block helped me haul it back to the building. I tipped him twenty bucks.''

''James? Oh he's a sweetheart,'' Rachel gushed. '''He always compliments Kurt's jaunty hats.''

''Did you buy out half the store?'' Kurt asked as he stepped closer for a better look at their inventory. ''You know there's no way the three of us will be able to drink all of this right?''

''Of course I know that, puh,'' Santana scoffed. ''Not all of this is for us.''

Santana then made a big show of opening up the compartment marked Vegetable Crisper which she revealed was filled with not vegetables but rather mini palm sized bottles of alcohol. Mini Smirnoff, mini Jack Daniels, mini Jim Beam, mini Absolut, mini Patron, and on. There were multiples of every brand and type.

''The mini ones will also work as ornaments for the Snixxxmas tree,'' Santana said, grabbing one and unscrewing the top to down it in one long gulp.

''Santana, that's Bacardi and it's 10am!'' Kurt hollered.

''Listen, babies, Snixxxmas isn't for the faint of heart,'' Santana declared after catching her breath. ''If you can't roll with auntie Snixxx then you need to get off this bitch train. I's ain't about to hold your hands.''

''I only understood like half of what you just said,'' Rachel remarked.

Santana waved them in closer, encouraging them to come near until she had pulled them both into each of her sides, essentially hugging them to her. Kurt and Rachel didn't exactly pull away but they did try to keep their heads a safe distance from hers, they weren't trying to get a whiff of the alcohol on her breath. With an arm around each of them she walked them all over towards the Snixxxmas tree which was decorated with several pairs of crotchless panties and a couple of sex toys. ''I'm gonna need you two to relax okay? Snixxxmas has no rules. That's the whole point. It's about defying all that Christmas stands for. Don't you two ever get tired of it?''

''Tired of what?'' asked Kurt.

''Playing nice,'' Santana answered. ''Don't you guys ever get tired of being sweet and smiley? Now is the time to sow your wild oats. We just got our asses robbed and you're not angry at that?''

''Of course we are,'' said Rachel.

''Then act like it,'' Santana said, patting their heads as if they were toddlers. ''Besides, haven't either of you ever been curious?''

''About?''

''What it's like to be bad,'' Santana elaborated slyly. ''More specifically, what it's like to be me? To say what you want to say, to whoever you want to say it to. You guys used to give me so much grief in high school because I had no filter but you can't tell me you wouldn't love to live a day where you got to do or say whatever the hell you want. That's what Snixxxmas is about.''

Kurt and Rachel shrugged themselves out of her grasp and looked to each other, intrigued and tempted by the idea. It was stupid and ridiculous but after being robbed and having their kindness being taken advantage of Kurt and Rachel wanted to see what it felt like to be just a little bit naughty. And who knew naughty more than Santana right?

''Well…'' Kurt said, tilting his head in consideration. ''It would be exciting.''

''I have always wanted to secretly walk on the wild side,'' Rachel added.

''Exactly, and that's what Snixxxmas is about,'' said Santana. ''Christmas tradition tells us that all the bad little boys and girls get coal in their stocking, but for Snixxxmas, nah, all the bad little boys and girls get Bacardi. This is our holiday and this year you two are my Snixxxmas elves which means you're allowed to be disorderly and messy as you want to be. This is when we get to do all the wild things we've always been too scared or worried or nervous to do.''

''Like what?'' asked Kurt.

''That's up to you,'' Santana walked back to the kitchen table for another drink. ''We have a few days before the 25th so I want you both to come up with one thing you've always wanted to do but have been too afraid to do on your own. It can be weird or wild and whatever it is, we'll do it together.''

Rachel's eyes lit up with mischief. ''Anything?''

''Anything,'' Santana promised.

''And you'll do it with us?'' asked Kurt.

''Fo sho,'' said Santana as she burped some Bacardi.

X

Later that night once Kurt and Rachel tucked themselves into bed Santana set up camp in the living room on the sofa. Rachel had offered to share her bed but Santana wasn't having any of that. She wasn't about to wake up to Rachel backing her ass up into her. The lumpy couch did her just fine and anyway it gave her just enough space and privacy to stay up for a few extra hours and chat with Brittany.

''What are you wearing?''

''A tee shirt and panties,'' Brittany answered on the other end of the line.

Santana couldn't suppress the throaty moan that rolled out of her. ''Hot.''

''Not as hot as you dressed as Mrs. Claus,'' Brittany teased as she reminded her of some very sexy photos she had been on the receiving end of earlier in the day.

''Yeah well maybe next year you'll get to sit on my lap.''

''Next year huh?''

''I mean hopefully we'll be in the same place by then.''

Brittany sighed as the flirtatious tone between them turned to one of sadness. ''I hope so too. It's killing me that I can't cuddle up with you in front of my little Christmas tree here. There's like lights and tinsel everywhere, the only thing that's missing from the picture is you under the covers with me.''

''I know, I know,'' Santana sighed. ''And I wish I was there too but there's actually a small part of me that's glad I came out here. Bisexual Shirtless Santa didn't seriously hurt either of them but Kurt and Rachel have been walking around their place looking like a couple of sad Pound Puppies. I feel like they'd be in much worse shape if I wasn't here. It's my duty to stay here and distract them by being especially obnoxious. I'm doing it out of love.''

''You're so thoughtful.''

''That's just how I am, babe,'' Santana said with a bit of pride.

It was easy to fall asleep with Brittany's voice all soft and warm in her ear. It wasn't the same as cuddling up with her but this Christmas, or rather this Snixxxmas, that would simply have to do.

X

The next couple of days seemed to pass quickly as she, Kurt and Rachel readied the loft for the upcoming holiday. Kurt and Rachel seemed to get into the Snixxxmas spirit, relishing in these new, strange absurd traditions that Santana insisted upon.

Instead of hanging cutesy Christmas stockings, they hung underwear. Instead of leaving cookies and milk out for Santa Claus, they left out mini bottles of vodka. Kurt and Rachel had even taken to singing classic Christmas tunes and altering a few words here and there to better suit this anti-holiday. Kurt was incredibly proud of _Rocking Around the Snixxxmas Tree_, though Rachel was adamant that her rendition of _Holly Jolly Snixxxmas_ was far superior.

Santana may have even shed a tear of joy when she came home one afternoon to discover the pair had taken it upon themselves to give the Snixxxmas tree one final touch. Instead of having a star adorn the top of the tree they had decided to do a little something different. They had, without Santana's knowledge, popped into a local sex shop and purchased a dildo to place at the very tip-top of the tree. Of course they had deemed the natural flesh color a little too basic and not at all festive and went about spray painting it gold with glitter. ''It should sparkle in the light,'' Rachel said in explanation.

Santana had felt pride at that.

She was also beginning to feel at home in the loft in general. There was something comforting about the city, with all of the noise and chaos. New York was her speed. She felt at home in the neighborhood and had even made friends with the homeless man, James, who hung around the block. He was older with a short salt and pepper beard who always seemed to be sporting a trapper hat. Any time she came around with bags of Snixxxmas supplies he had given her a hand by carrying them to the entrance for her and in return Santana had always compensated him with cash. Except for the afternoon Kurt had sent Santana out to buy several last minute food items he required later on for their big Snixxxmas dinner the next evening. She had forgotten to get cash out on her way back home and felt a little guilty. Luckily she had the presence of mind to think on her feet.

''Wait,'' she said as he placed her bags of groceries down at the front stoop. ''I don't have any cash today but - do you like cigars?''

James raised an intrigued eyebrow. ''I haven't had one in forever but I used to enjoy one every now and then back in my day.''

Santana pulled her purse to her front and began rifling through it until she found a tucked away little compartment from which she pulled a cigar. She held it out for him and he accepted it, holding it up under his nose to smell.

''This is nice,'' he said.

''I swiped it from my dad's collection.''

''I never get anything as nice as this when I help out those other two I sometimes see you with.'' James paused for a moment as he snapped his fingers at his side, as if trying to make himself recall their names. ''You know, those other two kids. The girl with the nose and the young man with the really bouncy hair.''

''Those are my friends, Kurt and Rachel,'' she laughed as she produced a lighter and tossed it in his direction.

He caught it with a flourish, put the cigar in his mouth and lit it with a grin. ''Yeah them. Any time I help them with something, the girl always returns and tries to give me really nasty vegan dishes. The guy gives me cash most of the time which is nice, but lately he's taken to trying to give me really hideous hand me down berets.''

''Yeah, that's them alright. I'm visiting for the holidays.''

James squinted in her direction as he puffed. ''Seems an odd match if you ask me. You and them.''

''Why is that?''

''You just seem like a, you know…'' James waved a hand about.

''A bitch?''

''Actually I was gonna say a real substantial no nonsense broad but uh that word works too I guess. Anyways, those two seem like decent people but they strike me as a bit more, what's the word?''

''Flakey?''

''Exactly,'' he laughed.

Santana simply smiled and shrugged. ''They are but in a weird and roundabout way, they're like my family. My really annoying ass family.''

''I can respect that,'' he conceded with a nod. ''They're better than most around these parts. Most people just walk right past me, at least those two look at me like I'm a human being.''

Santana didn't know what to say to that and before she could think of any sort of reply, James tossed the lighter back in her direction and said he had to get going.

''I have some friends around the block,'' he said and then lifted his cigar to gesture down the street. There on the corner she could see a small huddled group of people. They looked a little tired and cold. ''I'm gonna go share this with them.''

''Right, okay. Thanks again by the way,'' she said and nodded down to her bags of groceries at her feet.

He made his way off as she gathered her supplies into her arms. She watched him walk off, feeling as though she could have said something or done something more. What? She wasn't exactly sure. Either way she didn't have much time to dwell on it. Once she was inside she had to put the groceries away and get ready.

This was it - Snixxxmas Eve - and she, Kurt and Rachel had planned for a night out on the town.

Kurt and Rachel had informed her of their Snixxxmas wishes earlier in the day. Thankfully she had came prepared, she never left home without at least packing two bodycon dresses and at least one killer set of heels.

''Alright, Mary Kate and Ashley, hit me with it,'' she said later that night once they were all dressed and ready to head out. ''What are your wildest desires? Cause the Snixxxmas fairy is here and ready to grant your naughty wishes.''

Rachel and Kurt bounced and vibrated in place like excited toddlers.

''You go first!''

''No you go first!''

''No, you!''

''You!''

Santana sighed. ''Will one of you go first, the Snixxxmas fairy gots other things to do tonight, alright?''

''Okay,'' Kurt beamed and held a piece of paper to his chest. ''You said to think of something I've always wanted to do but never had the guts to go out and do myself. Welllllll my Snixxxmas wish is simple. I've always wanted to go to a real live drag show in the city but I've always been intimidated. I never felt cool or hip enough. I've always wanted to see the lights and the glamor and pageantry of it all. '' He turned the piece of paper around and made it dance in front of his face. ''I did a little digging around and according to this flyer there's a local drag show happening tonight. It's holiday themed and the ticket proceeds go to charity.''

Santana tilted her head. ''That's it? A drag show?''

Kurt winced slightly. ''You think it's dumb?''

''No actually,'' said Santana, lifting a shoulder. ''It sounds like fun. I guess I was expecting something else. Like, you wanting to become a bull rider at a gay rodeo or something.''

Kurt tilted his head and with a hint of bashfulness he added, ''Well I have always secretly wanted to own a pair of chaps but no.''

''A drag show though? That we can easily do. No problem, Hummel,'' Santana said and turned to her other friend. ''What about you Berry?''

''You promise not to make fun of me?'' Rachel asked hesitantly.

''Uhhhh no,'' was Santana's answer. ''In fact, it's almost a guarantee I'll make fun of you.''

Rachel rolled her eyes but proceeded anyway. ''Fine, my Snixxxmas wish is - brace yourselves, friends - to get a tattoo.''

Kurt squeaked as if he was scandalized. ''Oh my.''

''I want something small but significant,'' Rachel continued. ''Discreet and tasteful. I was thinking a tiny star on my side. It would be symbolic of my destiny which is to be a star.''

''I can see that for you,'' Santana said, slightly impressed with Rachel's wish. ''Gotta hand it to you, Berry, I didn't think your wish would be even mildly badass. A tattoo? Now that's getting into the Snixxxmas spirit.''

Rachel and Kurt lifted their heads, preening in a sort of pride. Santana Lopez was not easily impressed and it felt like a feat to have pleased her in this way.

''Now, are you both sure? Cause there's no going back,'' Santana informed them. ''Once you make your Snixxxmas wishes there's no take backsies, you hear? You have to do what you said you're gonna do. Wherever that takes us is where it takes us.''

''Absolutely,'' Rachel said.

''Agreed, tonight we walk on the wild side,'' Kurt added.

''Let's get this Snixxxmas show on the road then.''

X

They spent a good half hour in the loft pre-gamming before they hit the town.

It was decided that they fulfill Kurt's wish first. Donned in their finest gay apparal they had piled into an Uber and off they went in search of adventure which they had found once they arrived at their destination. Their destination being a popular and popping gay club in the city.

They had screamed their heads off during the drag show, marvelling at the queens dancing and prancing up and down the stage, lip syncing everything from Beyonce to Mariah Carey to all of the holiday standards. Kurt, Santana and Rachel had hooted and hollered and tossed dollar bills at the performers in appreciation. Santana had never seen anyone twerk to _Feliz Navidad_ but it was a beautiful and moving sight she discovered when a drag queen named Felicia Filth started doing it in front of her.

The three of them had made fast friends with Felicia after that. So much so that they had bought Felicia and the rest of the queens shots in appreciation once the stage show was over. Relishing the attention and adoration the queens had allowed the three of them into their circle for the rest of the evening.

''You said this was your first time here'' Felicia said as she stood against a bar with them. ''So what brought you three in the club tonight?''

Santana grinned and pulled Kurt into her, hugging him to her. ''It's for my friend, Kurt. You might be able to tell from his sallow complexion but uh he only has two weeks to live and it was his dying wish to see a drag show.''

Kurt slapped Santana's arms away from him and laughed as he pushed her off of his side. ''I'm not dying!'' He gave Santana a warning look before turning to address Felicia directly. ''But I did have a Christmas wish and it was to see my first ever drag show.''

''Fun,'' said Felicia. ''Well I hope our show was entertaining. I put it together last minute when I found out the shelter down the block needed some help or they'd be in the dark this Christmas.''

Kurt nodded. ''No, trust me, you were magnificent on stage. It was amazing and I'm glad we showed up.''

Felicia Filth was pleased with the praise and pulled a card out of her fake tits. She pushed it into Santana's hands. ''Well, I'm here hosting every weekend and FYI I'm available for bookings.''

Santana furrowed her brows as she read Felicia's information. ''It says here you do weddings.''

''Correct, I'm ordained. But I'll only do gay weddings. Straight weddings are against my religious beliefs.''

''Good to know,'' noted Santana.

Felicia then gave them each air kisses as someone began to pull her away in another direction.''Oh! Looks like I'm needed elsewhere right now. It was nice chatting but I have to make the rounds and drum up some more donations.'' The queen held up a canister that had a small opening on the top of the lid. People passing by had been dropping bills into it all night. ''Drink responsibly, but also remember every dollar you spend at the bar goes to a good cause - so have a few.''

Encouraged by the fierce and fabulous Rachel, Kurt and Santana stepped it up. It was for a good cause after all was their reasoning. When Kurt did a body shot off of a go-go boy, that's what he told them. ''This isn't for me,'' Kurt had insisted to Santana and Rachel as he admired said go-go boy's abs of steel. ''This is for the needy.''

''Of course it is,'' Santana said, happy to back him up. ''You're putting your mouth on a hot, half naked go go boy not because you're mondo horny but because you're generous, Kurt.''

And while it was true Kurt did take the shot for charity, mostly, when the go go boy asked if he could do one off of Kurt, well, something told Santana that was about more than charity.

In the end they had definitely sank some cash at the bar and while Kurt and Santana had held their own Rachel had revealed herself to be a bit of a lightweight with her liquor.

Hours later the three of them were standing about in the unisex club bathroom. The music was thumping through the walls as they congregated at the long sink to check their hair and face. Well that's what Kurt and Santana were doing anyway, Rachel was more than a little tipsy and had become convinced that the restroom they were all in was a courtroom for some reason.

''Rachel, you're drunk.''

''_I'm not drunk! I'll tell you who's drunk! You're drunk, this whole courtroom is drunk!'' _

Kurt shook his head at his tipsy friend. ''What are you talking about? What courtroom? We're standing in a restroom?''

''You're honor I'd like that stricken from the record!''

''Berry, indoor voice!''

Rachel began turning in place as she began to observe her surroundings. ''Would you look at that, we _are_ in the little girls room.''

''No more drinks for you,'' said a cautious Kurt. ''Just water for the rest of the night.''

''Kurt,'' Rachel sloppily scoffed as she started walking backwards towards a stall. ''I'm fine. I can handle my liquor thank you very much. I'm perfectly sober. Now Santana come! I need you to hold my hand while I tinkle.''

''Uhhhhh I will do no such thing,'' Santana said, shivering at the idea.

''But I need you!'' Rachel wailed.

''Rachel I swear to god, go pee by yourself.''

With a petulant huff Rachel closed herself in the stall. A few seconds later Kurt and Santana listened to her begin to pee and hum holiday classics to herself.

''Is it just me or does she get really gay when she's drunk?'' Santana asked Kurt.

''She gets really gay when she gets drunk,'' Kurt confirmed.

They rolled their eyes at their mutual friend and turned back towards the mirror to inspect their reflections again.

''So, is it everything you thought it would be?'' she asked. ''The drag show I mean.''

''And more,'' Kurt said, delighted. ''The performances? Amazing. The looks? Stunning. And the boys in the crowd? Adorbs. I got like, three numbers.''

''Well look at you.''

''And one of the queens even said I'd make a beautiful baby queen because I have delicate features.''

''_Please welcome to the stage Baby Porcelain,''_ Santana said, cupping her hands around her mouth as if she were announcing Kurt to an audience. _''Give it up for Baby Porcelain!''_

Kurt gave her a friendly swat as he laughed at her side. ''Thank you by the way.''

''For what?''

''For making me laugh again.'' He stopped primping in the mirror and turned to her with sincerity. ''I've been pretty down in the dumps lately. Not because of the whole bisexual Santa robbing us blind thing, but, being alone on Christmas….it isn't exactly easy for me. Being solo this time of year is a drag. I don't know if it's because I miss Blaine or if it's because I miss being with someone in general but I've felt a little melancholy about it all. Tonight has been a nice reminder that even though I'm single as long as I have friends...I'm not alone.''

Santana softened. Kurt was being real and it was hard to make a joke out of that. ''I get that. I mean I'm single and making it work too. We can be bitchy and alone together this holiday.''

''Are you though?''

''Am I what?''

''Alone?'' he clarified.

Santana flinched slightly.

''It's just that I know you and Brittany aren't officially together,'' Kurt carried on. ''But something tells me you're not officially apart either.''

''What makes you say that?''

''Just a gut feeling. That and I heard you two breathing heavy over the phone last night.''

Santana's expression soured as she went to stare at her face in the mirror. ''Yeah, well. Britt and I...it's complicated right now.''

''What isn't?''

''To tell you the truth, Kurt, I don't even know what we are. Right now she's doing her thing and I'm doing mine.''

''I guess I'm just wondering why if you're single and she's single, why didn't you fly out to spend the holidays with her instead?''

Santana's shoulders sank. ''Because.''

''Well that answers everything,'' he quipped smartly.

''Because,'' she started again in aggravation. Sadness seeping into her voice. ''Because if I went to spend the holidays with Brittany I don't think I'd be able to leave her when I had to go back to Kentucky. Sure, getting to see her for Christmas and spend a week with her would be amazing but...but I couldn't handle leaving her. Leaving her seems like all I ever do and I just don't think I can handle doing it one more time. The next time I'm with Brittany I want it to be for real, forever…..that is, if I'm ever with her again.''

''So instead of putting yourself through that you-''

''Decided to crash with you and Berry because to be completely honest Kurt, I needed the distraction.''

He reached over to touch her arm in a soothing, warm manner. ''Well I can say this, Santana, you have been _a very welcome distraction_ this holiday, and I hope I've been one to you.''

Santana sniffed the air and stuffed her emotions down in order to smile. ''You have. You and Berry….speaking of….''

Santana and Kurt went silent as they perked their ears up to realize yes, Rachel was still in the stall, merrily singing and peeing.

''What are you, a race horse?'' Santana hollered in Rachel's direction. ''Berry, you are taking the longest piss ever!''

''_On the seventh day of Snixxxmas my true love gave to meeeeeee!'' _Rachel belted from inside the stall.

X

After a few more hours of drinking, singing and sashaying alongside drag queens and their fellow gays the trio decided it was time to dip out of the club.

Rachel had been feeling herself a little too much and during a song that had the whole club singing along Rachel had exclaimed ''Hunty!'' which caused a knee-jerk reaction in Santana. That knee-jerk reaction had been to slap her across the face because who the hell says _hunty_? Nope, not Rachel Berry, not in Santana's house. Santana had instantly recoiled though in the fear that she had gone too far but Rachel had assured her ''no, no, I needed that''.

The slap seemed to sober Rachel up which Rachel didn't seem to mind. She said she wanted to be clear headed as they embarked on the next part of their evening.

It was Rachel's turn to make her Snixxxmas wish come true. They said goodbye to the club and promised the queens they had been hanging with that they would visit again and then they were off, sliding into the back of another Uber. A short while later the three of them came to stand outside on the slick sidewalk in front of an all night tattoo parlor. It's neon lights blinked at them, beckoning them in.

Kurt and Santana stood on either side of Rachel who had begun to bite her lip as she stared at the storefront as if in deep contemplation.

''Don't tell me you're backing out,'' Santana said.

''What? No,'' Rachel insisted as she stuffed her hands into her coat pockets. ''This is something I still very much want.''

''Then what's the hold up?'' Santana asked, shivering in her tiny dress and jacket that provided little warmth. ''Cause I'm freezing my metaphorical balls out here, Berry.''

''I just - I don't know - I'm nervous,'' Rachel began to stammer and twitch between them. ''I want to get a tattoo. I just don't want to do it alone.''

Kurt and Santana traded glances. ''What exactly are you getting at?'' Kurt asked.

''Well,'' Rachel said. ''What if you and Santana got a little something as well? With me? The three of us?''

''You want all three of us to get ink?'' Santana laughed.

''Wouldn't it be exciting?'' Rachel beamed and her eyes went wide with ideas. ''The three of us bonded for life. Kurcheltana!''

Santana screwed up her face in repulsion. ''Kurchelwhat?''

''Kurcheltana,'' Rachel explained. ''Our friendship name: Kurcheltana.''

Kurt let his tongue hang out of his mouth, disgusted. ''It sounds like some kind of rancid sour milk. Why not Humpezberry?''

Rachel wrinkled up her nose. ''I don't like it, it makes me think of 'hump' and when I think of you and Santana 'humping' is the last thing I want to think about.''

Kurt tilted her head as he brainstormed. ''How about Pezhummelberry?''

''How about BerLopHummel?''

''How about you both shut the hell up about 'friendship names'? Christ.'' Santana was so over this topic.

''Whatever, the name isn't important,'' Rachel said. ''Come on, you guys! I'm getting a tattoo and it would mean a lot to me if you two would embark on this journey with me.''

''I'm about to embark my hand across your face again,'' Santana said.

Rachel turned in place to face her friends. ''Santana, what was all that talk earlier tonight about walking on the wild side and being naughty?''

''That talk was for you,'' said Santana. ''I'm naughty 24/7, I don't need ink to prove that, Berry.''

''Fine,'' Rachel huffed. ''I guess this just means that my metaphorical balls are bigger than your metaphorical balls!''

And with that Rachel entered the tattoo shop leaving Kurt and Santana to stand outside.

''What did she just say to me?'' Santana asked indignantly.

''Her metaphorical balls are bigger than your metaphorical balls.''

''That freaking - whatever - I'll show her balls! My balls are bigger than her balls! My balls are bigger than both of yours! I have serious nuts!''

Santana grunted and stormed into the door after Rachel. Kurt rolled his eyes at both of them and followed suit, walking after them. If they were both going to get ink then he couldn't _not _get ink.

It took some back and forth but after a half hour debating on how they were all going to do it they came to the conclusion that since this was Rachel's wish she was going to pick their ink and Kurt and Santana were simply going to have to trust her. Their first time seeing their work would be after the fact but first Rachel would have to prove herself by going first.

Rachel informed the tattoo artist of what she had in mind and still slightly buzzed from their night out hopped into the chair and relaxed as the guy went to work. As he prepped and began the process of inking a small tiny adorable star on her ribcage Rachel fell into conversation with Santana while Kurt meanwhile went to peruse the artwork covering the walls of the establishment.

''You're really impressing me, Berry,'' Santana admitted as she watched the needle meet Rachel's skin.

''Didn't think I had it in me?'' Rachel spoke slowly so as not to disturb the man working.

''I really didn't.''

''Just goes to show you, Santana, we're all full of surprises. I'm surprised you've never thought to get a tattoo yourself.''

Santana shrugged and plopped herself down into a nearby chair. ''I guess I've never loved anything enough to want to permanently mark my body with it.''

''Do you really mean that?''

''I mean you've always had this star thing so it makes sense for you. I don't think there's anything that's ever been truly or hugely significant to me in the same way. I've never carried anything like that around with me, you know.''

Rachel stared long and hard at her. ''...yeah,'' she replied softly. ''Actually no. I don't think that. I think - I think you have. Maybe what's significant to you isn't a star or any kind of symbol but, Santana, _you've absolutely loved things more than yourself_.''

''Yeah,'' Santana said almost hollowly.

''You have.''

''I guess.''

Something told Rachel that Santana didn't quite believe it.

Getting ink went smooth and was relatively painless for all three of them. Rachel was pleased with her star. She felt proud of herself for stepping out of the ordinary and she was absolutely beaming when it came time for her friends to go under the needle. She had forced both Kurt and Santana to close their eyes and their ears as she briefly discussed what she wanted for each of them to the artist in residence.

Blindly Kurt and Santana let Rachel call the shots and were thankful that whatever she had chosen for them was small, discreet and took little to no time. After it was all said and done the tattoo artist left them to it in front of a large mirror in the shop.

''Oh my god! Oh my god! I love it!'' Kurt squealed as he looked at his bare shoulder where his ink was placed. ''Rachel this is perfect.''

There on the back of Kurt's shoulder and in a small but elegant font read _'walk, walk, fashion, baby'_. Kurt was absolutely in love with it as he hopped in place. It was Gaga, it was fashion, it was Kurt. It spoke to his love of song and fashion and style.

''This is so me. It's my essence boiled down into four words,'' Kurt was beaming, pleased with the artwork and with having done something left of center for himself.

''I thought so, it's simple, it's you, it's perfect,'' Rachel agreed, clapping her hands underneath her chin.

''Santana, what about yours?'' Kurt turned to face his friends and urged her to unveil the ink that had been placed on the inside of her wrist.

Santana feigned excitement as she itched at the small bandage on her wrist. Kurt's tat was so right for him but Santana wasn't so sure Rachel would or could pick something that was impactful or significant to her because honestly, Santana wasn't sure if she had anything in her life that spoke to her in the same way.

''What is it?'' Kurt was bouncing with excitement.

''I don't…..know.''

And with that Santana peeled off the white patch.

She wasn't sure whether she should laugh or cry at what was underneath.

'_B'_ was inked there on her wrist in a simple sweet font. Santana stared down at the letter as Kurt and Rachel went silent at her sides.

''Why did you-''

Rachel hushed Santana. ''Because I knew there was _one thing_ you loved in this world enough to mark your body with. Sophomore year you and her used to always wear those really adorable matching bracelets around your wrist. Then one day somewhere along the way, they disappeared and I wondered what happened to them and why you two stopped wearing them. Then again I guess when you're close to someone in that way, you really don't need bracelets to prove your bond. Even after all these years, I remember that about you and her and-''

''Thank you,'' Santana said, gulping down some air and trying not to cry.

''You can always cover it up later with another design or something.''

''I said thank you, Berry,'' Santana repeated again, tracing a finger delicately over her new ink.

Kurt and Rachel shared a silent but loaded glance at each other as they went to stand on either side of her, wrapping an arm around both sides of Santana.

''Let's go home,'' Kurt said.

X

Once they arrived back at the loft the mood had turned slightly serious. They had a loud, long wonderful night out in the city and it was a strange almost disconcerting shift to have to go back to the loft and their plain ordinary boring lives.

The three of them settled onto the couch after Kurt had served them all some hot chocolate and they took the moment to reflect on their evening as they stared at the colored lights and dildos hung around the Snixxxmas tree. They had dressed up and drank and danced and befriended some larger than life personalities, they had ventured out into the world and had even marked their bodies with art. They had, just as they had planned, walked on the wild side.

''This has truly been a most magical Snixxxmas, Santana,'' Rachel sighed as she relaxed back into the sofa cushions and sipped from her mug.

''Hasn't it,'' Kurt added appreciatively.

''But you haven't told us what your Snixxxmas wish is,'' Rachel added.

''My what?'' asked Santana.

''Your Snixxxmas wish,'' Rachel went on. ''If every bad little boy and girl gets a Snixxxmas wish that means you should have one too right? So what is it?''

Santana's face twitched into an awkward smile. ''I don't have one. There's nothing I really want this Snixxxmas, naughty or nice. At least nothing that anyone can put under a tree. But like it's not a big deal. Tagging along as you and Kurt as you both popped your Snixxxmas cherry this year was a gift in itself.''

''Oh come on, Santana, there has to be something,'' Kurt encouraged.

Santana downed the last sip from her mug. ''Alright, I do have one wish and lucky for you two, it's simple. My only wish for Snixxxmas is for the two of you to bunk together tonight so that I can get a good night's sleep in a bed.''

''That won't be a problem.'' Kurt placed his own cup down and began to inspect his wrist watch. ''I never get any sleep on the 24th, not with all of the food prep I have to do. I'll be up all night cooking for tomorrow's feast.''

''Yeah,'' said Rachel. ''And I'll probably be up too to make sure Kurt is making all of the vegan options properly.''

''Rachel and I will probably pull a culinary all nighter. It's going to be so much fun,'' Kurt beamed.

Santana didn't get their excitement but accepted it anyway. ''Whatever, just try to keep it down and don't wake me with any random singing will ya?''

With that a weary Santana stood up, found her travel bag and made her way towards Kurt's bedroom. It wasn't until she was a safe distance away that Kurt and Rachel turned to each other.

''Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'' she asked him.

''I hope she doesn't sleep in the nude?'' Kurt offered because if she was taking his bedroom for the night that was definitely on his mind.

''No,'' Rachel said, quieting her voice into an intense whisper in Kurt's direction. ''Listen, hear me out, this may not be the Christmas you and I envisioned us having this year but I must admit, what it's turned into? I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.''

Kurt bobbed his head around in agreement. ''This holiday season was a rough start for us. Santana dropping in has definitely forced us to live outside of the box a little. She pushed us out of our comfort zone but in a wonderful, adventurous way.''

''Exactly, Santana gave us the gift of being naughty. Shouldn't we do something to repay her?''

''Like what?''

Rachel raised a mischievous eyebrow. ''Perhaps we can work a little of our own Snixxxmas magic and invite a certain someone over for Snixxxmas Day celebrations.''

''Brittany,'' Kurt said knowingly.

Rachel pulled her phone out. ''I'll give her a call and take care of her travel arrangements, you get in the kitchen and get to work because there's going to be an extra seat at the table come Snixxxmas Day dinner.''

Kurt squealed and scampered off to the kitchen. Yes, it was the day before Snixxxmas but with the feast he had in mind, he definitely needed an extra early start. Rachel meanwhile stood up from her seat and dialed Brittany's number. She wandered off towards the Snixxxmas tree by the window and admired it with its twinkling lights and crotchless panties.

''Hello,'' Brittany said on the other end of the line. Her voice sounded sleepy and far away.

''Brittany,'' Rachel greeted her brightly. ''Sorry if I woke you.''

''It's fine, um, what's up?''

''Well the spirit of the season has possessed me and out of the kindness of my giant generous jewish heart I've decided-''

''Rachel, it's 2am. The point please?''

''Fine. Brittany, I have a Christmas wish - scratch that - a Snixxxmas wish, that only you can make come true.''

''Are you coming onto me?''

''No. But I do have a proposition for you...''

X

A/N: stay tuned for part two...


	2. Chapter 2

X

The next morning Santana woke up to the smell of a freshly cooked breakfast. Her stomach grumbled as she got a nice whiff of whatever Kurt had whipped up in the kitchen. While her body urged her to get up and seek out whatever smelled so delicious, her brain was telling her to stay in bed.

Whatever kind of sheets Kurt used felt amazing, plus the loft was chilly, she didn't want to move from under the thick blanket where it was warm and comfy. In fact, she thought as she turned onto her side, she could probably spend all day in bed. She brought her hands up towards her head then and was about to tuck them under the side of her face and attempt to go back to sleep when she gave pause.

There in the gentle light coming through Kurt's window she caught sight of it.

_B._

Written on her wrist in a tiny simple clean font.

And just like that she remembered where she was, but more importantly what she was, which was alone, in New York. She marvelled at how something so tiny could be seem so...impactful. Using the index finger on her opposite hand she traced the letter inked onto her skin as if the act would somehow help her feel closer to Brittany. Wherever she was Santana hoped she was happy and warm and safe.

_B._

It was better this way she reminded herself.

''_It's beginning to look a lot like Snixxxmas, everywhere you go, take a look at the five and ten, whispering once again-''_

''_With candy canes and silver lanes aglow! It's beginning to look a lot like Snixxxmas, toys in every store, but the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be-''_

''_On your owwwwn front door!''_

Singing merrily Kurt and Rachel entered the room and pranced towards her to plop themselves into the bed on either side of her, cuddling up even as Santana grumbled under her breath.

''What did I say about the singing,'' she warned, trying to push them away, in no mood to cuddle or be cute. She sat up and groaned at the bedside clock. ''It's 6am, why are you waking me up?''

''Well Rachel and I had a little talk last night and we agreed, it's been a naughty delight having you this Christmas-''

''Snixxxmas,'' Rachel corrected him.

Kurt nodded and continued. ''In ten years I'm not going to remember this holiday as the one where I got hogtied and robbed, I'll remember it as the holiday I got to step out of my safe little shell and live a little. I went to an amazing drag show, met some wonderful performers, flirted with some cute boys and even got a tattoo. Me, Kurt Hummel.''

''And me,'' Rachel said, placing both of her hands to her chest. ''I got tipsy and sang a moving duet with a drag queen named Felicia Filth and I got something incredibly significant to me marked onto my body to always remind me of my purpose. None of that would've happened if you didn't nudge us to let loose for once. If you hadn't been here Kurt and I would've just spent these past few days sulking around the loft. But you, you got us up and out and forced us to have fun. You bringing the Snixxxmas spirit into the loft was just what we needed after our ordeal.''

Unmoved by their outpouring Santana squinted. ''And?''

''And in the Snixxxmas spirit Rachel and I have a surprise for you.''

''If it's another song, I don't want it,'' Santana said, holding a hand out to halt any performance they might launch into.

''No, no, trust us. You'll want this surprise.''

''Yesterday you said you didn't have a Snixxxmas wish,'' Rachel reminded her. ''But something told me that wasn't entirely true so Kurt and I got you a little something special.''

''It's waiting at the front door.''

Rachel and Kurt hopped up and started waving at her to do the same. It took everything in her not to roll her eyes as she stood out of bed. She was sure whatever they had gotten her for Snixxxmas was going to be stupid but they were her hosts so she figured it was only polite to humor them. They trailed after her as she made her way through the loft and to the front door, once she was there though they stood back and held their hands to their mouths, snickering and smiling into their palms like small giddy children.

''Merry Snixxxmas,'' Rachel and Kurt hollered as Santana rolled the door back.

''Brittany,'' Santana said, almost breathless at the sight of her girlfriend, well, former girlfriend who was standing at the entrance. She was bundled up and shivering but she looked like, well, to Santana she looked like magic.

''Hi,'' Brittany greeted her.

Santana blinked awkwardly, one eyelid closing before the other. ''H-Hiiiii. What are you doing here?''

''Before I answer can I come in first? Rachel and Kurt made me wait out here for the past half hour.'' Brittany wiggled in place as if trying to get warm.

Santana shot her friends a little warning glare, but it wasn't too harsh, after all, they apparently were the reason Brittany was here.

Santana moved aside and helped her in, taking her piece of luggage inside for her as well. ''What brings you to New York?''

''A couple of Christmas elves invited me to the city for the holidays.'' Brittany threw a nod to Kurt and Rachel who were still standing a good ten feet away watching. ''I hope that's okay,'' Brittany said.

Santana nodded dumbly. So moved, so in shock it was like she lost her ability to speak. Thankfully Kurt and Rachel were never at a loss for words and ushered them both into the kitchen where there at the table sat a breakfast feast. Soon the four of them were sitting down and digging in and while Rachel and Kurt took turns prattling on, ping ponging off of each other as they pestered Brittany with questions Santana sat and ate in silence.

This was everything she had wanted, to have Brittany at her side during the holiday, but now that she was here it was hard to enjoy it. It was hard for her to think about how wonderful it would be to spend the day with Brittany if she couldn't stop thinking about how at the end of all of it, she would have to say goodbye to her, again. As much as she wanted to smile and bask in the company of Brittany all she felt was the inevitable heartbreak right around the corner.

''So you cooked all of this, Kurt?'' Brittany asked later on after she had finished off a second plate.

''Yes, with help from Rachel of course.''

Rachel bowed her head slightly as if receiving praise. Brittany nodded along and eyed the abundance of breakfast food still available. ''Were you expecting anymore guests?''

''No, no, Kurt and I wanted to keep it a low key affair,'' Rachel answered. ''It's just the four of us.''

Kurt smiled and conceded as he took a look at the breakfast items they had still yet to touch, not to mention the dinner dishes he had already begun prepping for later that evening. ''I may have overestimated how much food I thought we'd need. I guess I'm used to cooking for my family. Finn usually had about five servings of everything so I got used to making extra large portions. It is a bit much huh?'' Even though they had all been eating up there were still several stacks of untouched pancakes, toast, bacon and exquisitely laid out fruit. Kurt had made enough for a football team and while Santana and Brittany had went back for seconds they were still far too much, and it wasn't like Rachel could eat much either. She herself had more than enough to eat but she was only dining on the vegan friendly options. Simply put, there was going to be a lot of breakfast leftovers.

''Mmm,'' Rachel sighed as she noticed her contributions to breakfast had also been neglected. ''Was no one going to try my vegan eggs? They're made of algae proteins.''

''I'm gonna pass but thank you,'' Brittany laughed apologetically. ''Kurt you did a really good job, thank you. You too, Rachel. I'm just really full''

Santana made a show of wiping her mouth with a napkin. She was going to use this moment as her escape. ''Me too. You know since we're all done, Rachel why don't you take Brittany into the living room while Kurt and I clear up?'' With nervous energy Santana stood up and started gathering empty plates and utensils and only stopped when Rachel began flapping her hands at her.

''No, Kurt and I have that taken care of. The kitchen is our domain,'' Rachel bumped Santana's butt and took over the task of tidying up the table. ''Besides after we clean up Kurt and I are getting a head start on dinner, you'll just be in the way.''

''Yeah,'' Kurt said with a sly glint in his eyes. ''Why don't _you_ keep Brittany company instead?''

''Oooo, I have an idea,'' Rachel said, not being coy at all about what was going on. ''Why don't _you and Brittany_ take a couple of mugs of my world famous vegan eggnog up on the roof?''

''I ain't drinking your wack ass nog Ra-'' Santana started but before she could even complete her thought Kurt and Rachel were pushing her into Kurt's room even as she struggled against them.

Once they were behind the curtain and far enough away that they were confident Brittany couldn't hear them the three of them began an intense hushed conversation. Santana stood as Rachel and Kurt maneuvered her limbs into proper clothing, manipulating her like she was a life size doll and they were playing dress up.

''I don't know what the hell you two think you're doing,'' she hissed. ''But stop it.''

''We're doing you a favor,'' Kurt hissed right back at her. ''You obviously weren't going to do anything about your situation with Brittany so we did.''

''Uhhhh what situation is that?'' Santana asked.

''Oh I don't know, the whole you-still-being-in-love-with-her situation,'' Kurt answered. ''You're alone, she's alone, and you both still obviously have feelings for each other. What better time to sort things out than the holidays? You're welcome by the way.''

''Kurt and I are going to keep ourselves busy in the kitchen so why don't you go have a nice intimate one on one with her huh?'' Rachel suggested as she pushed Santana's arm into a sleeve.

''Listen,'' Santana said stubbornly. ''If I had wanted to see Brittany this time of year I would have. Did it ever occur to either of you that maybe-just maybe I was trying to avoid this?''

Rachel balked. ''Don't lie to us and tell us you don't have any feelings for her.''

''I'm not,'' Santana huffed and then sagged in sadness. ''I'm not. That's the whole point. When it comes to Brittany I have _too many feelings_, alright? The minute I saw her I wanted to kiss her and hug her and hold her but I can't do any of that, I won't let myself, not until it can be for real and forever.''

''Why?'' Rachel asked.

''Because, because, because,'' Santana said, shaking her head, searching for the words. ''It's like Christmas when you were a kid. Do you remember that? When you're a kid and Christmas time rolls around it's like you're filled with...something...something innocent and pure. That feeling. You sleep in it and you wake up in it, it's all around you ever day, at home and at school and in the streets. The lights and the music and the warmth. But then when it's all over, when Christmas ends and you watch the lights and the decorations come down...you're just left feeling empty and sad because you have to put all of those feelings, those innocent and pure feelings away in a box. It's like that. It's like that times one hundred. I don't want to pretend that Brittany is mine for a few days just to put her and all of my feelings away in a box when we have to say goodbye again. I can't.''

Santana blinked away her watery eyes and Kurt and Rachel were silent and stunned.

''Look,'' Santana continued. ''I get that you two were trying to do something nice for me and I appreciate that, but really you just made this holiday so much more difficult and frustrating than I ever wanted it to be.''

Santana pulled away from them and finished dressing herself as they stood by watching and pondering their response.

''I suppose we didn't consider that,'' Rachel said.

Kurt blinked. ''We just wanted to give you a gift. I'm sorry.''

''Well she's here now,'' said Santana as she pulled on a coat and beanie. ''And I'm just going to have to deal but next time - leave the Snixxxmas wishes to me.''

X

A half hour later Santana had found her way to the roof of the building with Brittany. They were both bundled up in winter coats and scarves as they took their first sip of vegan eggnog together. Rachel had pushed it into their hands on their way out of the loft.

They took their first drink...and immediately began retching in unison.

''This tastes like swamp,'' Brittany gasped and heaved.

''Ah jesus gross.'' Santana sputtered briefly before leading Brittany to the edge of the building so they could lean against a tall barrier. From there they poured their nog out and down into an empty alleyway. ''That was disgusting.''

''Ugh it left a nasty sour taste in my mouth.''

''Here, hold up.'' Santana patted down her pockets until she found what she was looking for, a single candy cane. She held it up in front of Brittany's face as if it were a magical key.

''Thank you.''

''Yeah well, one of the only plus sides of being a mall elf was the unlimited supply of candy canes they provided. Loaded my purse up before I left that joint.''

''I love these. They're my favorite.''

''I remember.''

Santana watched then as Brittany tore into the red and white treat with eagerness and hummed in appreciation as she wrapped her lips around it. When Brittany caught her staring and grinned in response Santana coughed and looked away. She forced herself to turn her body and placed both of her elbows on the rooftop barrier.

''Why didn't you tell me you were coming out here?'' Santana asked.

''I would have but it was sort of last minute.''

''How last minute?''

Brittany shrugged. ''3am this morning.''

''That's crazy.''

''Yeah well.''

''So you came all the way out here to New York to hang with Hummel and Berry?''

''No. What makes you say that?''

''Well,'' Santana began bashfully. ''Why else would you come all the way out here?''

''You,'' Brittany answered honestly and casually like it was the most obvious thing in the world. ''I was actually hoping you would've invited me, or that you would've surprised me and shown up at MIT - when neither of those things happened...well.''

''It's not that I didn't want you here, or that I wouldn't have gone to see you if things were different. I just...if we're being real and I mean really-real, I guess I was scared or nervous to do either.''

''Why? I mean, I thought we worked through most of our stuff. We're always talking and texting and sexting and-''

''I know and I love that we're reconnecting in that way. It's the face to face stuff that I wasn't so sure about.''

''Oh,'' Brittany sounded slightly hurt.

''I wasn't sure I could see you and touch you and have you for a few days and survive saying another goodbye. I'm so tired of us saying goodbye to each other. I crashed Kurt and Rachel's Christmas this year to avoid having to do that, which is probably the cowardly thing to do.''

''No, it's not. You're not.''

''Truth is, Britt, I've never been the strong, resilient one, that's you.''

''What are you talking about? How am I strong?'' Brittany laughed. ''If I'm anything, I'm like the desperate one.''

Santana crinkled her eyes, confused. ''In what way?''

''I dunno. Flying out here when I wasn't even sure if you wanted to see me or not. Saying goodbye is going to make my insides feel all twisty too but I was so ready to suffer it if it meant I could see you for a few days. I _needed_ to see you.''

Santana turned and stared at her then, lost for words. It made her heart happy to hear Brittany say that out loud, confirming her devotion. It really should've gone without saying but Santana's brain worked in a wonky sort of way, there was always that shred of self doubt that made her wonder if she was worthy enough for this kind of love despite the fact that Brittany had never given her a reason to question it.

Instead of dwelling on heavy matters though Brittany steered the conversation back to something lighter. ''I also needed to see what this whole Snixxxmas business was about. You really made up your own holiday huh?''

''Hey, it doesn't sound as dorky as it is, okay?'' Santana burst out into laughter.

''It sounds adorable, like something a five year old would think to do.''

''Hey, the spirit of Snixxxmas is sacred.''

Brittany indulged her. ''Yeah, judging by all the booze and dildos hanging around the loft I can tell it's super sacred.''

''Snixxxmas is totally about taking a walk on the wild side and being a little naughty sure but it's more than that too. The world tells us that Christmas is for all the good little boys and girls and everyone else is outta luck, but Snixxxmas? Snixxxmas is for everyone who is a little weird or strange or different, who walks to the beat of their own drum. Snixxxmas is for the weirdos and the freaks and all the people left behind or forgotten because we don't have a home or a traditional place in this world. Snixxxmas is for those who don't look like everyone else or act like everyone else or love like everyone else.''

Brittany's goofy smile turned sincere. ''...that's actually really, really sweet. When you explain it all like that, that's a holiday I can definitely get behind and support.''

''Well, I had to do something to distract myself from missing you.''

''So every bad little boy or girl gets a Snixxxmas wish?'' Brittany asked.

''Yep.

''That means I get one?''

''Of course, if you want one.''

Brittany bit her bottom lip as if she had some wonderfully naughty ideas in her head but before she got to share any of them white soft flurries began to fall down all around them, on the ground, on their jackets and even in their hair. Santana reached out to pick flurries out of blond strands.

''It's snowing,'' Brittany said, her eyes lighting up with wonder as she looked skyward. ''Oh my god, it's so pretty!''

''Yeah...yeah it is.''

Santana stared, captivated by Brittany who was so captivated by the snow. Her joy was contagious and Santana couldn't help but bask in it as Brittany beamed and held her hands out to gather a light dusting of flakes onto her palms. Brittany twirled and squealed and only when it really began to pile down did she begin to shiver.

''You're cold,'' Santana said, pulling her into her arms. ''We should head back in now, it's really coming down hard.''

''Not yet,'' Brittany pleaded, still wanting to enjoy the beauty of it all despite the cold turning more bitter.

''Look, your nose is getting red already. Come on, I'm not about to let you get sick out here.''

''Awww, fine. But can we at least start a fire inside? I saw the loft has a fireplace. Can we get our cuddle on and drink hot chocolate in front of it?''

''Absolutely, now let's go before we both turn into ice cubes please?''

Brittany nodded and began to lead the way, happy to go inside with the promise of cuddles, but she was gently tugged back into place by Santana who had turned statue still all of a sudden.

''What?'' asked Brittany. Santana was the one insisting they go in and then in the span of a few seconds she had became unmovable.

It was then that Brittany noticed where Santana's focus was. She was observing the street below them. It was buzzing with activity, people were out and about running their last minute errands but beyond that there seemed to be something more that was drawing Santana's attention.

Santana's eyes were on James, a staple in the neighborhood, who had helped her several times since she had arrived. He was surrounded by his group of friends. They were quite a bit aways but Santana could see that he still had a little bit of the stub of the cigar left and seemed to be passing it around to his some of his companions who were all huddled around a sidewalk bench. Santana watched as a hipster couple walked past the group, avoiding eye contact completely. The only way the pair acknowledged the group's presence was by walking faster in order to get away from them more quickly. To the couple passing by it was like the people, the cold, huddling people, weren't even there.

It was sad, Santana thought, how the world made ghosts of people like that and didn't think twice about it.

''God,'' Brittany sighed sympathetically as she too took notice of the group. ''They must be so freezing.''

Santana stared deep and hard at the scene below them.

''Are you ready to go in?'' Brittany asked.

''Yeah, I am...but I got an idea.'' Santana pulled Brittany to her and began guiding them back to the rooftop door that would lead them back inside the building.

She had an idea and she needed all of her Snixxxmas elves on board to make it happen.

X

Once she and Brittany were back in the loft Santana laid out her idea for the others.

Kurt, being the mother hen of the group, had grossly miscalculated how much food they needed, not only did they have a surplus of breakfast left over but from the looks of it, they were going to have way too much food for dinner as well. They could either store the surplus away in the fridge and dine on it for the next month or maybe, she said, they could actually give a helping hand.

''What do you mean?'' asked Rachel.

''Snixxxmas isn't just about behaving badly, it's about helping the people all the rest of the world just wants to forget about,'' Santana said, suddenly emboldened. ''There's people all over the world who probably won't get a warm bed or a warm meal today and you know what, maybe we can't fix that but right here, right now, there's a group of people outside who if you ask me could use a little Snixxxmas spirit. We got a ton of food because Kurt went overboard, we got a ton of booze because _I went overboard_ and Rachel, if you're willing to let go of some of your ugly ass high school sweaters, I'm sure there would be some people downstairs who would appreciate an extra layer of clothing.''

Kurt raised a brow. ''That would solve our food problem. I feel like we have ten pounds of mashed potatoes alone.''

Rachel nodded. ''And I'm sure the truly hungry would appreciate my vegan gingerbread house.''

''Yeah, no, we're not feeding people straight up garbage,'' Santana said, shutting that down real quick. ''But as for all the other stuff, why not?''

Kurt and Rachel looked to each other and then flashed smiles. They had been tricked and robbed this holiday and gotten the spirit of the season kicked out of them but now, here, faced with the opportunity to put something good back out into the world, they felt a little bit more cheerful and merry. No matter how they looked at it, even though they had a horrible experience a few days before, they were both still very fortunate to have family and friends and a bed to come home to every night.

Sure they had gotten a little naughty but they couldn't hide or suppress their innate goodness. They had Snixxxmas magic to spread on their own front door, literally.

''You know, deep down you have a really good heart, Santana.''

''Ew, don't say that,'' Santana protested, scrunching her face up as if she had just been insulted. ''Listen, I might be doing a good deed here but I'm going to do it with my own Snix-twist. Rachel, Kurt, get yo asses in the kitchen and finish cookin'. We got a crowd to feed tonight.''

Rachel and Kurt gave her a couple of salutes and followed orders, heading back into the kitchen to tend to the food they already had on the stove burners. Brittany stepped up wanting to be useful.

''What about me?'' she asked. ''How can I help?''

''You can get a box and start loading up all of the mini bottles of alcohol in it,'' Santana instructed and made a gesture to the bottles spread out all over the loft. ''We're gonna give people a home cooked meal but it's Snixxxmas, we gotta give them some booze. Tis the season and all that.''

''And what are you going to do?''

''I have a drag queen to call,'' Santana answered.

X

They had spent a good chunk of the previous evening in a gay bar and it was there that they had crossed paths with a queen named Felicia Filth. She had been the host of the show and later on, after teaching Santana how to twerk to Feliz Navidad, she had also mentioned that she had organized the entire event. It wasn't just a drag show Kurt had dragged them to, it was a charity drag show with all ticket and bar proceeds going to the local homeless shelter.

Having remembered this Santana thought it wouldn't hurt to make a call. The plan was to offer food and drink to the people downstairs but perhaps, she thought, Felicia knew of a few programs or organizations that would be helpful. She wanted information just in case she needed to relay it to James or any of his companions. Felicia had given Santana her card in the hopes of scoring a booking but she was pleased to hear from her even though it wasn't for a job. Felicia Filth was happy to give her a few names of some local shelters that were able to accommodate people who needed some help, but once Santana explained what she was up to Felicia insisted on coming out and taking part as well.

''Really?'' Santana had asked ''I mean that would be awesome but you don't have to.''

''Trust me, honey, Felicia Filth never passes up an opportunity to perform. I'm an event. I'm showing up in full drag and performing at least two numbers, possibly three.''

''Can't wait.''

''Would it be okay if I brought a few friends?''

''I mean, if they don't mind giving us a hand, the more the merrier or whatever.''

''Then we're on our way.''

All in all it took them around two hours to sort everything out. There was a dead end alleyway between the loft and the building next to it that would give them space, there was an old long dinged up folding table in the their building's storage room that was just sitting there, and because Kurt and Rachel never knew when they would need to host or throw a big gay dinner party they had a stock of paper plates and party cups. They had everything that they would need to take food and drinks down to share with the crowd, they just had to finish preparing the dishes and loading them into Kurt's giant serving bowls.

While Kurt, Santana and Rachel got everything in order and prepared they sent Brittany down to make sure the group of people huddled on the corner didn't leave. Brittany had thrown on an extra layer of clothing and scurried down. There had to be at least a dozen people, men and women, a few of which looked like they could be teenagers. They appeared to be using the bench and the small steel roof over it as shelter from the cold and snow.

''Hey,'' Brittany hollered and began jogging towards them.

James, who appeared to be the oldest of the bunch, turned around first. He had a tired look about him, as if he were preparing a speech in his head.

''Hey,'' Brittany said again as she got closer.

James began to wave her away. ''Yeah-yeah-yeah, we'll move along, you don't gotta call the cops, we're just waiting for the snow to let up.''

''What? No,'' Brittany panted as she finally came to stand in front of them. She could see her own breath in the air. ''I wasn't going to call the cops. I mean this isn't my neighborhood and even if it was, I wouldn't do that.''

''Then why are you here?'' James asked.

''Me and my friends were wondering if you wanted to eat with us?'' Brittany asked.

''Eat with you?'' one of females stepped forward, confused by the offer.

''Yeah,'' said Brittany. She nodded up at the loft and smiled as she explained. ''My friends and I, we kind of made a ton of food, like way more than we're ever gonna eat and we were wondering if you guys wanted to stick around and eat with us. We have drinks too. We're almost done cooking.''

The promise of food was tempting to several of the people there. ''Real food?''

''Real food,'' said Brittany. ''We even made vegan options but you don't have to eat those if you don't want to, just be nice to the girl who offers them to you. But like yeah, turkey and ham and stuffing and sweet potatoes.''

James was cautious though. ''And what do you want in return?''

''Nothing,'' Brittany said. ''We really do have more food than we need and we wanted to see if you guys wanted a plate or two or however many plates you want. No strings.''

The group murmured amongst themselves, some looked very interested, others felt like there had to be some kind of catch or twist. Brittany promised them there was none though.

''Look you don't have to do anything or go anywhere, we'll bring everything to you. Give us ten minutes to prove it.''

With that Brittany gave them one hopeful little grin and began jogging back into the building. Less than fifteen minutes later she reappeared, this time with Kurt, Rachel and Santana. It was much too cold for them to don their mall elf costumes but they had all pulled on their elf hats, except for Santana who wore the hat that had come with her Mrs. Claus outfit.

They were pulling a folding table out of the front door, or rather Kurt and Rachel were, Santana refused because she said she only supervised hard labor. Once they finally got it out and down the short flight of stairs they brought it towards the alley nearby, tucking it between the two buildings. Sheltered between them it was slightly warmer and the snow falling wasn't so heavy. Rachel, Kurt and Brittany then went back in, this time to retrieve the food and drinks. Santana meanwhile went to throw one of Kurt's tablecloths onto the surface of what was going to be their makeshift buffet. She also had a bag of paper cups and plates which she placed down.

''It's you.''

Santana looked up from what she was doing and saw James staring down at the table with a half smile on his rugged face.

''Huh?''

''The girl who came out here and said her and her friends wanted to bring us food, that's you. The girl with the nose, the guy with the bouncy hair. That's you. You three?'' He looked relieved.

Santana lifted a shoulder, downplaying it. ''Well, we had more than we needed.''

''I usually don't accept charity.''

''Yeah well I don't usually _do_ charity, so let's not call this that, cause it isn't. I'm not doing this…'' she made a gesture at the table. ''To feel better about myself or whatever.''

''Then why are you doing it?''

''Because no one should be alone or cold or hungry on Christmas, or any other day really. You're never going to know my life and I'm never going to know yours but I don't have very many people to spend today with. So why not?''

James tilted his head as he considered this. It didn't look like it would take much convincing though.

''Besides,'' Santana said, ''I'd rather be here than hanging in the loft with nose girl and hair boy for the next twenty four hours.''

James dipped his head in acceptance and then turned around to signal to his group of friends that it was safe to come and join them. As they waited for his friends and for Kurt, Rachel and Brittany, he helped her situate the table and the party plates.

''I do have a question though,'' he said. ''The blond girl from earlier, who is she?''

''Uhhh she's off limits.''

The man wrinkled up his nose and scoffed. He had no intentions or interest, he wasn't that kind of man. ''I mean, I've never seen her around the building. New friend?''

''Old friend.''

There was something in the way Santana said it that gave herself away. James laughed. ''Ahhhhh I see. Well, you got yourself a looker, kid.''

''Shut up.''

''Once the food gets here I will.''

A short while later Kurt, Rachel and Brittany came back out of the building, each of them with a stack of containers. Kurt had meticulously sealed everything up in plastic kitchen storage bowls. Once they had everything on the table he went about opening each container up and placing them in a line so people could serve themselves. Rachel, meanwhile, was on drink duty, having brought a large thermos down with her. She was lining up cups of hot chocolate at the edge.

''I'm sure my friends already told you what this is about,'' Kurt said loudly as people began to gather and make their way around the table, filling a plate as they went. ''But help yourself to whatever you want, as much as you want.''

Kurt and Rachel went about making sure everyone was getting what they needed for the next few minutes. Brittany meanwhile had hopped into the short line with people to get herself a plate too.

When everyone had went through and served themselves there was the small task of figuring out how they were going to eat. Standing up and eating wouldn't exactly be easy but luckily one of them men in the group had a bright idea when he spotted a bunch of milk crates further down into the alley. A couple of the younger fellows had pulled them closer and placed them down in a semi-circle so people could sit on them as they enjoyed their food. Another person had also taken it upon themselves to drag a huge steel barrel to the middle of their semi-circle and start a small fire inside of it for warmth.

And then everyone was sitting and eating and talking and laughing.

''I love this sweater,'' said one young woman. She had finished off a plate and noticed one of the containers Rachel had brought down with her contained clothing. Rachel had set her own plate down and excitedly pulled out several of her old high school reindeer sweaters. The woman had happily accepted it as a gift and keenly modeled it for Rachel.

''Thank you,'' Rachel said, pleased. ''No one truly appreciated my 2011 style sense but mark my words this look will have a resurgence. Take as many reindeer sweaters as you want.''

Another man held up his hand. ''Not that I don't appreciate the hot chocolate but do we have anything else to drink?''

Santana smiled a wicked smile. ''Oh, we also brought water...of course, if you need anything harder, we have that too.'' Santana then pulled a couple of mini bottles of Jim Beam out of her coat pocket. She tossed them to a couple of people who caught them carefully. ''There's plenty more where that came from.''

''Santana,'' Kurt whispered at her side. ''I don't know how wise it is to give them that.''

''Hey, everyone deserves a drink now and then. Why can't they?''

''Public drinking,'' he said.

''What public?'' Santana made a wave to the streets which had cleared of people and vehicles since the morning. Everyone in the neighborhood was either at home or elsewhere because the surrounding streets had turned into a ghost town once it had started snowing.

''I hope everyone has left room for cheesecake,'' one Felicia Filth declared as she arrived at the entrance of the alleyway. She was donned up in her best holiday drag, a giant sparkly green gown with red piping around it, Christmas lights done up in her wig.

''Who in the-'' said one gobsmacked man as he chewed.

''Everyone this is Felicia,'' Santana introduced the drag queen to James and his companions.

''Ms. Filth if ya nasty,'' Felicia added. ''And I brought pie. I'll also be your entertainment for this evening. Me and my girls.'' Two other queens stepped forward behind Felicia.

And that, that's how Kurt, Rachel, Santana and Brittany spent their first Snixxxmas Day in New York.

In a dingy dank alley, sitting on milk crates, eating off paper plates alongside a handful of homeless people as they all watched Felicia Filth and her backup dancers sing and twerk once again to _Feliz Navidad_.

It was beautiful.

It was weird.

It was Snixxxmas.

And after that the queens began making their way through a few holiday standards with the small crowd giving applause after each one. Eventually though Rachel and Kurt got restless. They couldn't just sit and be IN the audience, no, they had to get up and take part too. Soon Kurt and Rachel were up, standing shoulder to shoulder with the queens belting so loud Santana was sure people could hear them down the block.

They were idiots. But they were her idiots. And she was glad for them.

It went on like that for the next few hours. Eating and drinking and singing. The queens tired themselves out after a half dozen numbers and went about serving themselves a plate and joining the people sitting on milk crates. Rachel and Kurt then took it open themselves to be the sole entertainers. They had just started a duet with _Where Are You Christmas_ when Santana and Brittany decided they needed to take a bathroom break.

While the rest of the group listened to their friends sing the emotional and melancholy song they headed back up to the loft where they took turns using the restroom. Once they had both finished they bundled themselves back up into their jackets, hats and scarves.

''Wait, let me fix your collar,'' Santana said, pulling Brittany to her. She fiddled with the outside of Brittany's coat, adjusting it just so, picking off a piece of imaginary lent.

It was as she was playing with her coat that Brittany saw it.

There on Santana's wrist.

_B._

''What is this?"

"What is what?"

Brittany reached out to gently take Santana's wrist. She turned it upside down to inspect the inside of it. There against tan skin was a single letter. _B. _

''When did you do this?'

''That, that's a long story.''

''Santana.''

Unsure of how Brittany would feel about it Santana attempted to play it off. ''...it's not a thing, it doesn't have to mean anything or-''

Brittany cut her off by sweeping in, taking her in her arms and laying a deep, breath stealing kiss onto her. It was so delicious Santana felt like she could drown in it.

''It's beautiful.'' Brittany pulled away and placed her forehead against Santana's. ''Why didn't you show me when I first got here?''

''I guess I forgot about it in the excitement of seeing you.''

''Did you plan this?''

''It's a long story but let's just say it was a spur of the moment kind of deal.''

Brittany held Santana's wrist and traced the B with her thumb, marvelling at it. ''I love it.''

''Yeah?''

''I do. I can't believe you would do that, for me. I mean it is for me, right?''

''Britt, there's no one else.''

Brittany kissed her hard and deep again. ''Really?''

''Really-really.''

Brittany looked like she was vibrating in place.

''What?''

''You know how you told me earlier everyone gets a Snixxxmas wish?''

''Yeah.''

''I think I know what I want mine to be.''

X

Fifteen minutes later.

Santana laid back against the headboard as she waited for Brittany. She had been ordered to strip down to her bra and underwear - but to leave her Mrs. Claus hat on - and wait for Brittany in bed. Well, it wasn't so much of an order as it was a wish, Brittany's Snixxxmas wish that is, to be fair though even if it had been an order Santana would've been more than happy to follow.

A moment passed and Brittany finally walked in, coming out of the bathroom in her own bra and panty set. Santana licked her lips as she noticed it had cute little reindeer all over them. God, even when Brittany was wearing ridiculous underwear it still drove Santana wild.

''Sorry,'' Brittany said. ''I just texted Kurt and Rachel while I was in there. I told them that we were going to be otherwise occupied for next hour or so.''

Santana shook her head because she really didn't care. ''They're fine playing karaoke downstairs. They have a captive audience, they won't be coming up any time soon.''

''Good.''

''So what are we doing?''

''Well, what does it look like I'm doing…'' Brittany bent down slightly, peeled off her panties and dropped them carelessly to the floor. She did the same with her bra before crawling up onto the foot of the bed, starting from Santana's feet, up her legs, hovering above her until she had a thigh on either side of Santana _''I'm sitting on your lap.''_

Santana groaned as she felt Brittany's bare ass against her. She fought the urge to pump up in search of some kind of friction.

''Aren't you going to ask me what I want for Christmas?''

Santana panted. ''What do you want for Christmas?''

Brittany bent forward and whispered into her ear and Santana felt like she was going to spontaneously combust right then and there.

''You really want that?'' Santana asked.

''Mmmhm.''

''I guess I have to, for Snixxxmas, huh?'' Brittany just nodded and Santana leapt up and turned them in place, rolling them over so Brittany was beneath her and she was the one hovering. Santana adjusted her Mrs. Claus hat, making sure it was on securely before gripping a pale thigh and moving it to the side so she had a clear open view of Brittany. Pink and ready and waiting.

Snixxxmas was truly the most magical holiday.

X

''We can't thank you enough for coming out today,'' Kurt said as he and Rachel were giving their goodbyes to the queens a couple of hours later.

Not only had they supplied a few pies and cakes they had also been amazing entertainment. But as time wore on and the temperature began to drop it was decided it was best that everyone call it an evening. It was going to be a blistery cold night and Felicia Filth and her cohorts insisted that they see James and his friends off to the local shelter several blocks away. Felicia had called ahead and made sure there would be plenty of room for them to lodge.

''Hey, it was fun,'' Felicia admitted. ''Truth is, I don't really have a family to spend time with on the holidays. I mean I do, but, well, they don't exactly want to spend time with me. My friends are my family. I'm all about helping people who have lost that too.''

''We really appreciate it,'' said Rachel.

''You tell your friend thank you for me, will ya?'' James requested.

''Will do.'' Kurt held out his hand to James as well as the others in the group, all of whom took a turn shaking Kurt's hand.

Rachel went to hug the girl who was wearing one of her old sweaters. ''If you ever need anything, more clothes, more sweaters, more whatever, always feel free to drop in. I also have accessories! How do you feel about headbands?''

The girl smiled politely but it was obvious she wasn't exactly enthused with the idea of looking like a twelve year old wearing a headband. ''Um, they sound cool I guess?''

After a few more quick goodbyes and take cares the drag queens departed with the group. Rachel and Kurt watched them walk off until they turned a corner and disappeared.

''Well,'' Kurt began after a moment as he turned back to look at the table and the empty containers that had accumulated over the past few hours. ''I guess it's up to me and you to clean this mess up.''

Rachel twisted her lips up. As fun as it was hosting and entertaining she was not looking forward to tidying up and lugging everything back inside of the building. ''It's just like Santana to leave all of the grunt work to us while she ditches us to get her rocks off.''

Kurt laughed and tossed a stack of plates into a trash bag. ''Yeah but honestly, if you think about it, that is sort of the spirit of Snixxxmas. Ditching responsibility in the pursuit of earthly pleasures and all.''

''What do you think they're doing up there?''

''Honestly, I don't even want to think about it considering that whatever they're doing, it's probably in my bed.''

Rachel grimaced in sympathy. ''You can bunk with me again tonight.''

Kurt checked his watch. ''I'd say we should give them more time alone but it's getting late and the past day and a half have wiped me out.''

''Me too. Let's just gather everything, go inside and crash.''

''Sounds like a plan.''

So that's what they did, they collected their trash, stacked their containers and bowls, made sure the small trash can fire was extinguished and then carried their belongings inside and back up into the loft. They were careful to announce themselves as they walked through the door.

''We're baaaaack,'' Rachel sang as they entered. She tossed their stuff onto the kitchen counter and sink. The washing could wait till tomorrow morning.

''Is everyone decent?'' Kurt asked, bracing himself.

That's when Santana walked out of his sleeping quarters in her short robe. She was still, for some odd reason, sporting her Santa hat. ''Hey, uh, what's-what's up?'' she asked nervously.

''Nothing, everyone left downstairs so we came back up. They said thank you by the way, I think everyone really appreciated having something to do today.''

''Good, good, I'm glad,'' Santana said, looking a little jumpy.

''Everything okay?'' asked Rachel.

''Yeah, it's just Brittany's back there.'' Santana threw a thumb in the direction of Kurt's room. ''We were sort of in the middle of something when you came in.''

''Middle of what?''

From Kurt's bedroom Brittany called out. ''Santana, did you get it?''

Santana turned back and hollered. ''Yeah, I'll be right there, Britt.'' She looked back to Kurt and Rachel. ''I'd rather not say what we were in the middle of.''

''Ohhhh.'' Rachel nodded all sly like. ''Romantic.''

Santana rolled her eyes but felt compelled to apologize for being grumpy with them earlier in the day. ''Listen, I'm sorry if I was being an ass this morning. It means a lot that you brought Brittany out here for me.''

''Yeah well, you said it yourself, everyone deserves a Snixxxmas wish,'' Kurt reminded her.

''Yeah,'' Santana chuckled. ''I want you both to know, I'll never forget this.''

Kurt and Rachel shared a glance. They were dead on their feet exhausted but knew how hard and how meaningful it was to have Santana so that to them. ''Tell you what, Santana, why don't you and Brittany finish up whatever you were doing while Kurt and I have some nog on the fire escape?''

''Really?'' Santana lit up.

Kurt nodded reluctantly. ''You have an hour and then we're coming back in.''

''I can work with that,'' Santana readily agreed. ''An hour.''

''Santana, come on,'' Brittany called out again.

Santana tossed Kurt and Rachel a thankful smile and then pulled down a dildo that was hanging off the tree like an ornament and started back towards her girlfriend. ''Coming, Britt, I got it.''

Kurt wrinkled up his nose. ''Let's get some nog and get out of here before we hear too much.''

X

Moments later Kurt and Rachel found themselves sitting out on the fire escape, sharing a blanket and sipping from mugs as they admired the city at night.

''I think we should do this again.''

''What? Snixxxmas?''

''Yeah,'' said Kurt. ''Maybe not every year but, say, every five years. I can't say I've ever had a Christmas like this and I think it was good for me.''

''I definitely feel like I challenged myself. You know Santana said Snixxxmas was about being bad, but right here, right now, I feel pretty good.''

''Me too.''

They cuddled into each other's sides, holding each other in a sweet, friendly fashion and screwed up their faces when they heard the bed squeak loudly inside the loft as some very rhythmic bouncing took place. They heard Santana grunt as if she were doing some serious strenuous activity.

''_Aw hell yeah.''_

''_Uh uh uh uh uhhhh!''_

''_You like that huh? Yeah you do. Turn over.''_

''_Okay, wait, baby, when did you take it off? I told you I want you to keep the hat on.''_

''_But it makes my head hot.''_

''_Yeah but you look so sexy as Mrs. Claus.''_

''_Fuh-ine. This is the weirdest role play ever.''_

Kurt and Rachel were struck silent by what they just heard.

The thumping and squeaking of the mattress resumed. Santana had presumably put her hat back on.

''Yeah I don't think we're getting any sleep tonight,'' Kurt sighed in defeat.

''Nope.''

X

The day after Snixxxmas.

Just as she had the day before Santana woke up to smell of breakfast once again. Her body begged her to get up and hunt for the source of the delicious fragrance of food that was filling the loft but something else kept her captive in bed.

That something else was Brittany's body, weighing her down, anchoring her securely, wrapped around her like a security blanket. They had definitely had some fun between the sheets but after that they had sank into each other and talked, whispering their feelings back and forth about where they were and what they were. If they were.

''I know we said we wouldn't make a decision one way or another about being together until we had everything else about our lives figured out, but if you ask me, that's dumb,'' Brittany had said as they laid together in the dark. She was still tracing the _B_ on Santana's skin, mesmerized by it.

''Why do you say that?''

''Because,'' Brittany continued. ''You're the only thing I've ever been sure of. You're the only thing I'm still sure of. Maybe we do have to figure out school and careers and life in general, but when it comes to you, there's no question.''

''What does that mean?''

''It means I want you to be my girlfriend. It means I want to be yours. It means...It means I want one of these on my wrists.'' Brittany gently squeezed Santana's wrist. ''Except it's your initial. And I don't care if we're ten miles or a hundred miles apart or how many goodbyes we have to say in between all of them. I want you.''

''Really?''

''Really.''

''So we're really doing this again? Me and you? Together?'' Santana looked downright giddy.

Brittany rolled her eyes. ''I love you just in case it wasn't totally obvious.''

''I love you too.'' Santana pressed a kiss onto Brittany's lips but pulled away with a pop. ''MMmmm, I just remembered, if you're here that means the Christmas gift I arranged to be delivered to you on the 25th is back at MIT.''

''So.''

''So, you had no presents to open on Christmas day.''

Brittany smirked. ''Well, it'll be there when I go back, besides there are ways you can make it up to me.''

''Yeah?''

''Uh-huh, put this Santa hat back on and I'll tell you how.''

X

X

X

X

Merry Snixxxmas everyone! I hope you enjoyed this little story, it's my first every holiday fic. Not sure how it turned out.

I have to admit, this year has been one of the darkest years of my life. It's hard to explain. I've had some really rough spots. I know I mostly write humor but the thing is, in my real life, I don't laugh a lot. I can't write or read anything dark because I live with that stuff already. But I'm still here for another Christmas and in the grand scheme of things, that's an accomplishment. If anyone out there who is reading this is going through a hard time as well, I hope you know you're not alone and I'm glad you're here too.

I also want to say this will probably be my last story for awhile, maybe ever? I don't know. I don't see myself writing for brittana very much in the future. So. It's been a ride. I will always love them the most. That will never, ever change.

Happy holidays everyone, be safe out there.


End file.
